Is it time to dance yet?

Ok so it's not spelled right but still! Several friends were sending me this link on Facebook the week prior to my transfer. I know it's silly but it still made me feel good. Is 2015 going to be my year? It better be or all internet name predictions are wrong and then what would any of us have to believe in anymore?

Actually, I believe in this instead:

I am trusting that this FET is the time God is choosing to bless us but if not, I have to be ok with that too. It's easy to say right now since I haven't poas yet but I know deep down He is for me. He knows what's best for me just like I will know what's best for my children even if they don't always understand. So with that being said, here is the story of what I pray is the answer to our prayers for 8 years.....

On January 11, 2015 we were at church and the pastor was speaking about how sometimes the more you know, the less faith you have, kind of like how little children have such faith without question.  He illustrated this by sharing a study from webmd. There were a group of women going through IVF and they were all similar in issues (such as poor egg quality, low sperm count, etc.) A group doing the study decided to pray for half of the women without their knowledge. The group that was prayed for got pregnant twice as much as the group that wasn't prayed for. The same thing happened with a group needing angioplasty surgery. The group that was prayed for had less complications than the other group. When the results of the study was presented to doctors, they said they didn't understand how this could have happened but if you ask a little child they would say because God answers prayers. It was so neat that my pastor used this story two days before my transfer. I decided to amp up the prayer time so I shared the study on my Facebook page and asked for as much prayer as possible. We also spoke with our pastor after the service and asked that he pray for us and tell as many others as he could. And believe me, people are really praying! If you are a Christian too, I would love more prayer. Here is the link if you are interested in the study:
http://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20011106/power-of-prayer-in-medicine

So we left the next morning for my lining check at the Florence, Kentucky office. I was so proud of my uterus because my lining was 8mm and the doctor said anything above 6 was good.

We went to stay with one of my closest friends in Lexington for the night then headed back up to Cincinnati the next day for the transfer! We were thrilled to learn they both survived the thaw and we had two very nice looking donor embryos to transfer. It was a wonderful day and couldn't have gone any smoother.

This is the first time they have had a pink gown. I am loving the pink and blue!!!!

These are my boy/girl twin socks. If I'm going to pray about a baby, I might as well go all out, right?

Can you see them?

My excited face :0

These rocks are in the bathroom. I am trying to do both of these!!!!!

Yee haw! This is in the lobby. I have to ride it every time.

My sweet babies! Love at first sight.

Their first meal, chicken salad at Rafferty's.

I'm on day 6 today. Going to start testing at home tomorrow!You'll see pee sticks if they look good. If not, then no.

Please Lord, please! We are praying for the September 9th date but October 1st will work too. :)

 My transfer was on January 13th, which is my brother's birthday. My beta is on January 27th, which is Brad's birthday. I know God loves to use numbers and dates so maybe, just maybe He will this time too. Back in 2008 when I was undergoing my first IUI, I knew without a doubt it was going to work because I was 30 years old and my IUI was in the 11th month (November) because my verse He had given to me a few years before that was Psalm 30:11. I know that is reading into it a lot, but guess what? I got pregnant and stayed pregnant longer than any other pregnancy I've had. Even though that pregnancy ended, it gave me hope that I did hear from God and He will one day indeed turn my mourning into dancing. I pray my dancing will begin tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Last Shot

We are finally ready to try one last round of treatments. I started my Estrace on Christmas Eve and will begin my Lovenox and Prednisone on CD6 for our FET with the last two donated embryos. I don't expect it to work or anything but we need to do these last 2 for closure. I'm not even going to get my levels tested to see if I need Ivig becuase it's too expensive and hasn't made any difference even with my levels being perfect with donated embyos. So we decided on Prednisone and Lovenox only and if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work.

My blood work date to check estrogen and progesterone is January 6. Ultrasound to check my lining is January 12 and if that looks good (which it always does-at least my body can get that part right!) then the transfer is January 13. January 13 is my brother's birthday and I know God loves messing around with dates :) so maybe, just maybe, it will work. Prayers are appreciated!

One last test, maybe forever

I had one FRER left so I thought why not? Dumb idea but you always have that little bit of hope right? Today is 13DP5DT so I'm completely out but yet I still have to go do that beta tomorrow. Since I had implantation spotting and still didn't get pregnant, I really feel like putting those last two completely beautiful embryos in me is a death sentence for them. We have been talking about several options: gestational carrier, adoption and living child-free. The last one scares me and I don't think either one of us are ready for that road. I'm not sure we will ever be ready for it but we are getting to the end of this journey. We have literally tried almost everything. I think it's time to say goodbye to my uterus and to tell you the truth, it almost feels good to say that. Even if I did get pregnant I would just be waiting to miscarry it and that's no way to live. When do you say enough is enough?

Donor Embabies!

I had my E2 and P4 drawn today and they said everything looked great. I'm staying on my Estrace three times per day and starting Crinone (yuck) twice a day on Thursday. My ultrasound is Monday morning and if my lining is thick enough we will transfer our first two adopted embryos on Tuesday morning! Very excited considering the parents of these embryos didn't have half the issues I do. Maybe this will actually work!!!