12-12

Yesterday Katie had her first appointment for the actual transfer of the baby this time! They wanted her lining thin and her estrogen low and thankfully that's exactly what we got.  Lining was 5mm and estrogen was 61 so we are right on track. This is the best it has been for a baseline since Graham's transfer so we are taking that as a great sign. I'm also hoping the date we picked is also significant, 12-12.

Graham and I go to MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) on Mondays. We started with prayer requests so I asked that everyone pray for God's will on December 12 because we were most likely transferring our last embryo on that date. After requests were finished, our speaker from The Empty Cup (a non-profit coffee shop that helps facilitate adoptions financially with their proceeds) said she felt so much peace at the moment about speaking because of the mention of 12-12. She said God puts that date, time etc. in her path constantly. After she spoke I went up to her and told her that God also had put Psalm 30:11 in my path even years before we were ttc. And when I was 30, I knew I would get pregnant in the 11th month. I did and even though I didn't stay that way nearly long enough, I've always thought about how God uses numbers for us. She asked my name and said she would be praying for us, especially on 12-12.

I put my t-shirt on that night when getting ready for bed and as I was brushing my teeth (you can see some of the evidence of this haha!) I looked down and saw the Bible reference of Romans 12:12!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

So whether or not God intends this 12-12 baby to become Graham's sibling, I will now always treasure this date as well. It helps me to remember He's right here with me, just as He was when I was 30 and pregnant myself. And Graham and I will continue to be faithful in prayer everyday for his little brother/sister and will do so until His plan is revealed. Please Lord let this little one be the one you have to complete our family. No matter the outcome, we trust You.

Receptive!

We received Katie's ERA results yesterday and she came back receptive which means her lining was completely prepared to accept an implanting embryo. So she will be doing the exact same number of hours of progesterone that she did during the mock cycle which was also the same as the failed transfer in June. Part of me wanted something to show up just so we could change the protocol in some way since the embryo failed to implant but mostly I am completely relieved. I couldn't hardly stand to think that our sweet baby was totally fine and if we had only had 12 more/less hours of progesterone that we would be planning a nursery right now instead of another transfer. So now we know for sure that everything was absolutely perfect but it just wasn't meant to be. This verse comes to mind when I think about that baby that didn't get to stay:

A man's heart plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

So we are planning the next course which is transferring our last embryo on December 12. We are praying that our steps line up with His plan for our family while trusting He knows best no matter the outcome. He sure knew best when He gave us Graham. All those years of failures and miscarriages were the steps leading us to him. Now we pray there are another set of hands to hold next year.