Monday, January 30, 2012

Almost there!

Got my blood work this morning. I take 3 more days of Lupron then it's onto Follistim/Luveris! I'm excited about adding this extra hormone since it's a different protocol than before. Start sending your prayers up for growing follicles! That's a really weird prayer but God will know exactly what You're talking about. ;)

Can you tell I'm in a better mood than a few days ago? Oh the ups and downs of being an infertile!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Unhappy birthday

Brad's birthday was yesterday and he turned 31. His birthday reminded me that my own is coming in 2 months and when I realized this, I started to panic. I'm turning 34. I thought I would be completing my family at this age but I haven't even begun. I know it's not my fault. I didn't plan it this way. But it doesn't change the reality of the lack of time I have. I hope no one will say, "You're still young! You've got plenty of time." The reality is I don't know how much time I have. So far I've had 2 pregnancies in 4 years with no baby to show for it. At this rate, things aren't looking good. Plus it's just a medical fact that egg quality diminishes with time. If I knew this round of IVF would work, I wouldn't care about getting older. But I don't know that and I am actually less confident that it will because of failing last time. I pray this is our time but I don't know. I've gotten my hopes up too many times and always left with the same results-empty arms.

Monday, January 16, 2012

BC issues

I've been on the birth control pills now for 2 weeks and there's some strange stuff going on that I don't remember from IVF-1. I've been spotting almost everyday on them and my bbs are extremely sore. And, yes, I took a pregnancy test just to be sure and it was negative. Surprise! I was just wondering if any of you did this? I've not even started on the Lupron shots yet so it's weird.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Here goes round 2!!!!!!!!!

I am beyond excited to announce that we are beginning BC pills today for our next fresh cycle! I can't explain how happy I am today. I know it may not work....I'm used to these procedures failing. But what I can say for certain is we are now moving forward. I've "relaxed" now for 5 months and you saw where that got us. The best news is that no matter what happens, we're doing something. Either it won't work at all, it will work and I'll lose the baby or it will work and I'll actually have a real baby. One of these three scenarios will play out. If it doesn't work at all, we'll use our frosties and see what happens there. If it does work and I lose it, I'll have closure and be ready to end treatments and adopt. Or, you never know. This could actually be our time. If you pray, please be diligent and lift us up through this 2 month process. I'm not scared of the process because I know what to expect. I'm just wanting everything to go smoothly and give us the best possible chance at becoming parents of our own biological child. I want to be a mommy more than anything in the world but to carry my own child would just be icing on the cake. PLEASE Jesus!!!!!! :)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Hopefully Happy New Year

I have mixed feelings when it comes to 2012. On one hand, I can't help but think this will be our year. We are ready to try our next fresh cycle this month or next so maybe second time's the charm? If it's not then we can try our frozen babies. Someone that works at a fertility clinic in Nashville said that some women respond better to frozen cycles because your body doesn't have to go through all the stress like a fresh cycle. But then there's the other hand. The hand that tells me none of this will work and we will be exactly where we are at the beginning of 2012..... Childless.