I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update but for so long there was nothing to say. We weren't trying to get pregnant anymore and we weren't actively pursuing adoption. When you give up on trying to have a baby, it's almost like you lose part of who you are. For nine years I've been giving myself shots, peeing on countless sticks and having a roller coaster of emotions to write about. It's not a club I wanted to belong to of course but I did give me a sense of belonging in some way. Now I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I guess I need to follow more blogs about adoption but my heart still isn't completely in it I guess. I really want to become a mother and I know that adoption is the only way to do this at this point. I don't really think anyone ever gets over not having their own child that wants one. You just learn to live with that fact that it isn't your path.
With that being said, things are moving along now. We have decided not to go with an agency at this point due to various reasons but I have printed our profile and dropped it off at a doctor's office. After the holidays I plan on going to several more offices. We aren't beginning our home study after Christmas now since we don't really know when our child will be here. I know several friends who have adopted through an office or acquaintances and used a lawyer for the services rather than an agency. It's way cheaper of course but hopefully less waiting as well. We have actually gotten several calls about babies/children but none of them have worked out yet. I know that next Christmas will be different. Next Christmas we will get to hang up that extra stocking we bought years ago, maybe even two. I say that every Christmas but this time I actually believe it. Now that we are trying to adopt, I truly feel something good is going to happen. I feel my mourning turning into dancing. Next year we will dance.
Merry Christmas.
Dance this year also, it is now and the future is ahead.
ReplyDeleteDance this year also, it is now and the future is ahead.
ReplyDeleteDancing for you. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm feeling optimistic for once!
ReplyDeleteI had not considered going the doctor/clinic route - we've just finished our 3rd IVF round (1 fresh cycle, 2 frozen, all three unsuccessful) so we are beginning to think more about adoption as time goes on...can you go in to a bit more detail on how this works, how you heard about it, etc? I don't mean to sound ignorant - I'm very intrigued, especially because, after 8 years, our funds are extremely low and the prospect of adopting without going through an agency (and thus perhaps costing a bit less money...) is something I'm interested in learning more about. Best of luck to you -- you have gone through so much for so long and I truly wish you a happy 2016. You deserve to DANCE next Christmas <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your failed IVFs. It's heartbreaking. As for your private adoption question, I know very little about the process at this point but I do know it's cheaper. One of the doctors told me that girls come in to her office and have their babies and leave them there (and they aren't always drug babies). So they have a list of people like you and me that they call when this happens. I don't know how much it will be but it's significantly cheaper and you go through a lawyer for all of the legalities. I am assuming you will still need a home study but you can go through a private company for that or the lawyer may be able to help with that as well. We are just waiting for the opportunity to get going and then I will contact an adoption lawyer to get all the details. I made a profile of us to leave at the offices so people could see what kind of family the child would have if they choose adoption. Hope this helped a little!
DeleteHow did you find out that this was even something you could do? Leave profiles at doctor's offices? I'm so very intrigued...this definitely gives me hope <3 About to start our last fresh IVF cycle in about 3 weeks - and then of course, any subsequent FETs from that fresh cycle, should they be necessary. Fingers crossed for a good number of embryos... Still hoping the best for you, Lyndsey <3 <3
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