Thursday, August 25, 2011

The adoption option

Many of you may not know about the phone calls we've had about adoption but it's actually happened four times now. The first time it was a 3-week-old little girl but guess what? They changed their minds. The next was a pregnant teenager but the family decided to take care of that baby. The next was a set of twin boys. These boys didn't even have names. They were calling them baby A and baby B. :( We seriously considered this one but then the grandparents decided to take them. Now Tuesday we got another call. There's a 15-year-old girl who is pregnant in the town where I live and they are looking for potential adoptive parents. We decided that we just aren't there yet and even if we were, it can be taken away from you as quickly as it comes. Not that I'm not happy that people change their minds and decide to raise their children but I don't think I'm ready to commit to it then someone tell me, "Never mind now." So many people love to tell you to JUST adopt (and yes, they always put the word "just" in front of it like it's such a simple choice) but it's not that easy. And yes I would love for someone to hand me their newborn and then disappear until my child turns 18 but as you can see that doesn't always happen. I need to work through my issues of longing for a child who is half me and half Brad. I know that may seem selfish but it's how I feel and I think every happily married couple deserves to feel this way. I'm not ready to adopt yet. I'm just not. And I think that's ok. When I've had enough shots, follicle counts, retrievals and transfers, I'll know.

4 comments:

  1. I totally understand! I hate when people say "just" adopt. Like it's sooo easy. You are not selfish at all. I long for a child that is ours. Good luck to you! Hugs.

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  2. Thanks. It's good to know I'm not the only one who hates to hear those words. I'm still praying for you and your dh. I really hate that you got terrible news last week. :(

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  3. Completely agree, the pain of not knowing if you'll ever have a biological child is crushing and debilitating at times. People keep telling us that love is all that matters, and while that may be true, it doesn't diminish the pain of potentially never carrying a baby or having a biological child. It hurts. You will know when you've had enough IF treatments, and when that time comes, you'll make the decision that is best for you and your husband. If adoption is what you feel is right, there is a child out there for you, waiting, and the love you all will feel will be worth the wait. But you have to accept it in your heart, be ready. It's hard. People who don't know, don't know. That may sound obvious, but that's just what it is. Hugs to you!

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  4. I like this post, you seem to have made it so simple to understand the "why" in why not adopt. I am so happy that you keep moving forward and that optimism has held on!

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