I started back to school this week so I wanted Brad to take me out to eat Friday night to celebrate the week's end. With this pretend pregnant belly still visible, it's hard to find the right clothes to fit without looking preggo. I wore this black dress that had plenty of room, so I thought.
When we finished eating, I was waiting for Brad to get out of the bathroom so we could leave. I noticed some crumbs on my dress so I was brushing them off. These crumbs happened to be on my stomach and a waitress walked by as I was doing this and said, "Congratulations!" I said, "No, I'm not. I just look like I am." She of course apologized and then I explained that we did IVF and it didn't work and that was why I looked pregnant. Then she asked how old I was and when I told her I was 33 she was like, "Oh! I thought you were around my age." I assume she's much younger than me and was going to say at least you're still young. I'm glad she didn't say that. It would've poured even more salt into my wound. GO AWAY PREGNANT BELLY THAT HAS NO BABY!!!!!!!!
It has been 1 week since we received our BFN (first IVF). I was on my knees, wailing, with images of my embryos in hand. I try to stay positive, but it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. Thank you for blogging. Reading your story gives me encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry for your loss. I know you didn't miscarry but it's still a loss. I can't believe I'm encouraging you. Sometimes I feel like I have zero faith throughout this process. We all need each other.
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