So I did OK at work answering what questions I could about the twins. I only cried twice! After a trip to Wal-Mart (you know you never see babies/kids there), I came home to relax on the couch and watch TV. I turned to one of my favorite channels, HGTV, and what do you know? The couple searching for a home is pregnant with twins. Turn the channel!!!!! I go to my other favorite channel, TLC, and what do you know again? The couple on this show has twins also. A boy and a girl. Is there no place I can go without being reminded of what I lost? First I lost my own hopeful twins when I did IVF this summer and now I lost my adopted twins (triplets). Even the commercials have babies or kids laughing.
Dear Lord, I really don't know how many more years of this I can take. Yes, I know You're in control. Yes, I know You have this great plan for me. Yes, I know it's in Your time. Your timing is no good right now and I really HATE the plan. As I put up one of my little girls hair at school today, I thought, "Why can't it be my little girl?" I try to say all the right things like those weren't the kids meant for us to have and I truly believe that but I really hate that they weren't. I just needed to vent and my hubby isn't here so you guys got to hear it. Sorry but I do feel better now! Tomorrow will be a better day.
you'll feel better venting, but PLEASE don't let it bring you down. Your optimism and faith has always been so inspiring.
ReplyDeleteGod understands anger, and it is ok to question everything! We are praying for you and your husband! Just can't help thinking how special the child He has planned for y'all is going to be!!
ReplyDeleteIt is in his time, but while we are waiting, it sure is frustrating, hurtful, and painful. Hoping HIS timing is coming soon for us :)
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