Last night Brad and I had a deep discussion about how we are supposed to feel when our embryos die. Chances are some of the eggs will not even get fertilized by the sperm. OK, well that's not an embryo so no worries there. But what if we have 10 eggs, and 7 of them get fertilized and then only 5 of them survive. How are you supposed to feel about that if you are pro-life and value life at any stage? The book I was reading said that the embryos that do not survive before transfer probably wouldn't have survived in the fallopian tubes had they gotten fertilized in a normal pregnancy. But you have that word, "probably."
And what about when they transfer two embryos that did survive the 3 days in their dishes. They divided the way they should and are graded well. (They grade the embryos from A-D or 1-4 with grades A, 1 being the best.) But then I don't get pregnant. Am I supposed to feel like I lost my babies? I am really struggling with this because I have always prided myself on being pro-life and this is something totally new. When you do IUI, you don't have embryos. You have an egg that's waiting for a sperm that may or may not fertilize it. Now we are dealing with embryos that are already made.
And when you freeze your "extras," you can potentially use them for your next cycle if you don't become pregnant this time. So after they are thawed, you can become pregnant with them so obviously they are tiny little lives. It makes my brain hurt and my eyes red and puffy.
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