The mourning is back and it's worse than before

I'm miscarrying. Ok I don't know that for sure but when you've done it twice before you get pretty good at self diagnosis. It's not too hard to figure out when you are passing tons of blood with clots and horrible cramps. It all started Wednesday morning with a small amount of spotting. I called my clinic and they said as long as it was spotting, I was fine. They also said that doing the Crinone suppositories daily could cause spotting since everything is very vascular right now. I didn't spot the rest of the day so I wasn't too worried about it. Yesterday morning I woke up with the same type of spotting that I had the morning before. I take my Crinone before bed so I figured that was the cause and it wasn't a ton or red so it was not too concerning. Around 3:00 yesterday I started cramping and bleeding. I called my clinic and she said it could be several things. It could be fine or it could be a miscarriage. She said not to stop taking my medications because I could only be miscarrying one of them and the other two or just one may be just fine.It's something called vanishing twin syndrome where the other baby (or babies) are fine and the other twin or triplet dies and either gets reabsorbed by the other babies and there's an empty sac or you can miscarry it altogether. She scheduled me for another beta today but she said it won't tell them much since I've not had one since last Friday. I've had two clots since I talked to her yesterday. I got my blood drawn but the lab tech said I might not get it back today because of my insurance. I started crying and told her I was having a miscarriage and she said she'd see what she could do. I haven't heard back yet but I'll post it as soon as I know. I was farther along than this the other two pregnancies. I thought I might lose this one too but I thought I could enjoy it for longer than a week. I hate my life today. And note to self-when you have a history of miscarriage, don't have baby gaga automatically post on our Facebook wall showing your baby's progress. I don't know why I thought this time might be different. I guess I need to take this Lilypie ticker off my blog too but not today.